Parenting

I still co-sleep my 7 year old!

Co-sleeping older kids

Co sleeping
Co-sleeping older kids

“Mom please come and sleep with me for 10 minutes!” This is what I hear from my son every night when I put him to bed. Those 10 minutes of snuggling, those 10 minutes of heart to heart conversation, those 10 minutes of giggling, those 10 minutes of hugs and kisses, those 10 minutes of cuddling, all this makes me feel, ‘motherhood is totally worth it’.

My son is turning 8 years in a few weeks and I still co-sleep him. Yes, you read it right! My 7-year-old and 4-year-old boys still sleep with me and my hubby with a sidecar arrangement.

I have been hearing this for quite some time now of moving my kids to a separate bedroom. I know they are between me and my husband and they are literally BETWEEN me and my husband but, sharing bed and co-sleeping with children is our joint decision and we both love it! Though my son could sleep on his own but, who would listen to his juicy stories from school, his friends and feelings, his silly jokes, his special moments of the day and watch him fall asleep while talking. Though kids need to self-soothe, what about the satisfaction that I achieve by comforting his legs after a long day of play and fun watch him fall asleep. I understand that they are so young and can easily adapt to the routine or the culture which we make them fall into because they know we are their parents but, I feel they NEED US!

I admit, sometimes he kicks me or smashes my face with his hand in the middle of the night, so he is not always the best person to sleep with but as I said, it’s all worth it!

Advantages of Co-Sleeping

Sleep sharing benefits
Co-sleeping benefits

  • Co-sleeping develops a stronger emotional relationship
  • The child becomes more comfortable and open to share thoughts with parents.
  • Parents often get more and comfortable sleep.
  • Fewer bedtime hassles.
  • Those 10 minutes of heart to heart talk makes you feel closer to your child.
  • Bonding experience between parent and child.

However, there are studies which say that co-sleeping an older child makes them dependent on parents to an extent. Between the age of 5-8 years is an ideal age to make them move to their separate room.

Be ready for pre-teens

Emotional bonding with a child
Preteens

In my view, I feel very soon the day will come when they would not want us to share the bed, they would want their own space and their privacy. My son too has started insisting to sleep in his own room many at times however, it’s we as parents who feel insecure to sleep without them by our side. Gone are the days when kids used to have privacy problems once they were into their teens. Times have evolved and we do come across these issues very much during pre-teen as well. They would not share their days routine, their feelings, and fears.

I feel especially during this pandemic in which we all are sailing right now, kids are worst affected. Moreso because at such a young age, they cannot express their emotions as to how do they feel. They do not have school to look forward, they do not have friends to play and prank, they do not have extended family to look upon, they do not have holidays and breaks. They only have us around them to listen and play. I feel they need that extra care, the extra step ahead of affirming that we are with them and this too shall pass. They need that extra cuddle to make them feel safe and secure. Yes, this is actually the time when in a true sense our little heroes are emotionally dependent on us.

So until I can have him next to me, I want to enjoy those moments of getting up in the night and checking on him, I want to enjoy those strokes in his hair and closely chatting with him, I want to enjoy his ‘I am sorry mom’ in a very subtle manner, I want to enjoy his ‘I Love You’ mom when I give a peck on his cheeks to say goodnight. I want to feel the calmness and serenity of his innocent soul right by my side, in the night!

Do share your thoughts here, would love to read your view.

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