Life

The Sandwich State of Life 

Two years into a new decade, I have realized one thing for sure, this decade will be the toughest of all. Be it physically, emotionally, or socially. Yes, you are right, The 40! We are in a state of mind where the heart wants to believe that we are young and the body says it’s not young enough.

In Indian society, people have a habit of defining everything using numbers, especially the number of your age. Age is so and so, it’s time to get the person married. Age is such, yet there is no kid. Oh, your age is now this, yet you are not settled. With this hype of 40th birthday these days, though people say age is just a number and we should be young at heart but my heart says, “Hey lady, be more conscious, I might just fall apart”. There is a strange contrast between the two.  Till about a few years back I never kept a check on my eating habits and now we keep checking on junk intake, sugar intake, number of meals outside, organic foods, milk, millet etc etc. Tell me with so many refrains, how can one just say that age is just a number? It is definitely a number and a number to be believed. On one hand, people say it is just a number and on the other, they say 40 is the new 50. In this game of numbers, one thing is for sure, my hair is getting greyer, my pulse is running high, my dark circles are more visible and my body always asks for a sigh.  Are we seriously getting old, or it’s just the number?

Anyways coming to the emotional angle, I think the best time going with the spouse. Because by looking at him, I feel I am not the only one living with the dilemma of this number game, he is there too. After almost 17 years of bonding, we have learned to live with each other’s flaws and now we do not argue, we just shrug and move on. But yes, he is the only source to vent out because in this sandwich state of life, where parents want equal attention as our kids, a spouse is the only one who understands every bit. I mean you have a moral responsibility towards your aging parents, who need a little more care than what they needed almost 5 years back whether it’s their health issues or emotional wellbeing.

On the other hand, kids are growing up fast but trust me, as a mother of two I can say that they were sooo easy to manage when they were actually kids. Their tantrums, their academics their insensitivity, and that responsibility of inculcating the value system isn’t that too much to handle. And not to forget, teenage is knocking at my door hard and I need to welcome them with open hands and full hearts. So yes, it feels like the foundation of a pyramid where we keep stacking the responsibilities. Or I should say it feels more like a sandwich wherein we keep trying to adjust the tomatoes and the cucumber to just fit in appropriately but no matter how many times you try to adjust, the mayonnaise or the sauce oozes out through the gaps or the avocado just falls apart. So this is probably the stage we are into. We try to fit everything into the right compartment but something or the other keeps coming up new or the compartment feels too small to fit in.

From the social angle, I want to go out, mingle with my friends, meet my relatives, call them, host etc. but the daily grind leaves you in splits. Getting ready and going to a pub is no more a dream or something that I crave. I feel chilling on the couch with my husband around binge-watching with some late-night munching is the best stress buster of the week. It is just so relieving! I mean we are busy running behind the time starting from Monday morning. I am sure you all must have read enough about the household chores and a working mother so I do not want to rub on further but where is the time??? And then ironically, we keep saying, we are getting bored. Trust me staying in a nuclear setup with two kids, life leaves no chance to not keep you busy. But that busy routine is leading to boredom. And then relaxing on the couch is not boredom, it is bliss. Maybe more enjoyable than socializing. The question arises again, are we seriously getting old, or it’s just the number?

There are two ways of looking at this sandwiched life. The first option, we keep enjoying every bite that we take, which might be sour or maybe bitter followed by some sweet and tangy fillings. Maybe we can sip a cup of coffee with some extra sugar to complement the complexity of life. Keep adjusting for the veggies and do not let them fall, after all those are the main ingredients to tickle your tastebuds.

The second option is to not eat the sandwich at all because the ingredients are not as per your choice. We keep complaining, keep fussing, and keep crying for not being able to eat the best sandwich that we ever desired, or we always compare it to the sandwich served on the other table, which looks more tempting and more desirable. That is life! we might not have the best one, but we always forget to be grateful for what we have. It’s a true saying that good taste is better than bad taste, but bad taste is better than no taste.

So at whatever stage of life you are, get the fillings of your sandwich together and start chewing, but not too quickly because you do not want the ingredients to fall apart.

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