Who keeps me busier, kids or husband!

When people ask my husband that how many kids he has, he says I have 2 boys. And when people ask me the same question, I say 3 boys and the eldest one being the youngest when it comes to never-ending demands. Do you agree? In the Indian culture, when we women get married, we tie the knot with a loving and caring husband, which we eventually realize is no less than a grown-up child.

I understand that a 6-year-old will act like a 6-year-old, and a 10-year-old will also act like a 10-year-old but a 40-year-old to act like a 10-year-old, am I reading too much here?

Lately, my husband was traveling overseas for quite a long duration, not that he has been traveling for the first time, but I do get some downtime occasionally. But this time around it was for a little longer than usual, and I was forced to think that who keeps me more engaged, MY KIDS or MY DEAR HUSBAND.

The sheer presence of my husband in the house keeps the entire house busy, the entire house is in a hustle and bustle. Mind you, I am not saying and neither does he says that he keeps ME busy, but he keeps THE HOUSE busy. There is a difference if you ask him. Every room remains busy, with fans and lights on, whether anyone is in the room or not. All washrooms seem to remain occupied because lights and exhausts are perpetually on. All beds are in ready-to-sleep position, with unfolded quilts and comforters all over. The living room is always functional with a TV and Alexas on the roll. Most of the empty chairs or any clean corner is embellished with some unfolded clothes/ tracks or shorts where there is always a juggle between the two legs of the unfolded pants. Even the floor of the house is busy. I mean if you walk from one room to another room, you might come across a few pairs of slippers or shoes here and there, but he will be seen bare feet, trying to keep the house clean. And if you find some empty space somewhere in the house, some nook or corner, you might see him practicing some virtual tennis serves (which seems to be his profound love these days). You know that is the irony! When he is home, the kitchen is in full swing. A request for “adarak chai”or “kuch bhi acha sa or sometimes different sa” is always in demand.  Amidst all the hustle around, my kids will be seen locked in the kids’ room, trying to engage themselves with some toys or books or if nothing productive is there, they might engage themselves in some argument or fights. They always run on strict instructions that you are not supposed to bring your toys outside the kids’ room, that is the discipline they need to follow. And poor they, they actually follow and stick to. I am not sure how many of you readers will agree with this scenario, but this is how my house looks like on a typical weekend or when he is working from home.

Whilst he was traveling, the house was serene. So, the scenario was, the kids were off to school, and I was back to my empty house with my work-from-home cozy corner. Rooms were absolutely spick and span. Clothes were all folded and resting at their designated place. Washrooms were feeling secluded since most of the time they remain closed with lights and exhausts off. Chairs and couches had to do some heavy lifting with just not the clothes resting on them. They were actually utilized for resting for which they were bought. Slippers were quite happy back together with their matching partners. The kitchen also had a downtime, with no out-of-the-blue demands. Kids were happily eating khichdi and simple dal roti in the belief of eating super food and remaining super healthy. Do you see how much kids accommodate, and we mothers make them our punching bag and keep ranting about their demands? Not fair, actually the culprit is someone else (Wink Wink!!)  So overall the house was quite calm and undisturbed.

So what do you think, I must be having a quiet time, with fewer chores to take care of, and cherishing the ME time. On the contrary, I was missing the hustle and bustle in the house. I was clueless about how to keep myself busy in spite of two kids, my full-time job, and regular chores. Everything was going as per the scheduled time, household chores were finished on time, office deadlines were met on time, and kids were taken care of but still, there was something missing during the day. Something was incomplete. That was my dear husband. I do not know if his absence really made my heart fonder for him.

As we celebrate our 15th anniversary today and 17 years of togetherness, I can say this with my whole heart that my day is incomplete without you. Your simple presence in the house makes me feel secure and comfortable. I know you trouble me, but these 15 years have made me fall in love with that trouble. It is amazing to see how our relationship has evolved over the years. Staying in a nuclear setup has not allowed us to have close candle-lit dinners or more private space. But to spend time with you on a Saturday night in my pyjamas, eating nachos and binge-watching is what I look forward to every weekend. Sending kids to school and stepping out with you for breakfast as a cheat date is what I enjoy the most. Enjoying a cup of simple adarak chai (prepared by you) in the balcony is what makes me feel relaxed. Over these years “I love you” is replaced by “You Know me”, which says it all as to how we connect in a way that is just US. I love this phase more that when I met you 17 years back. The phase of ” Matured Love” where all said and unsaid emotions are not required but what we have now is Trust, Comfort, and Togetherness, all put together with never-ending LOVE. Everything in our relationship is 50-50 , I cook, he eats, I wash, he wears, I shop, he pays 🙂 🙂

It is rightly quoted, we do not marry someone to live with, we marry the person whom we cannot live without, which we realize later in life. And I can again proudly say that I am fortunate to be Blessed by God and Spoiled by my Husband (Checkout the blog).