Life
Rozana DosTea!
Part of my heart is heavy as you move away to new beginnings, but part of my heart is happy that you guys made me learn what the Rozana friends mean to me. In my 40 years of life, I have never made daily friends, yes, I had few in school, college, corporate world but this household kind of friends, I learned from Neha, Nidhi, and Anumeha. Their friendship made me think about who is my friend in life whom I can just walk up to and pour my heart out to, someone whom I can just call up for a cup of coffee, someone to whom I can just walk up for a chit chat, someone whose doors are always open for me and I do not have to ring the bell (this was for you Ashish!), someone whose kitchen is open to peep and see what is cooking for the day, or someone who can help me close my kitchen for a day. Whether it’s gossiping about husbands, in-laws, or for that matter parents, or just sharing the childhood crush or adventures or any damn thing on this earth which do not make sense. This is how you 3 have set a benchmark for me to understand what daily friendship is. I am not talking here to share my feelings, but I am talking here to share how I feel for you when I see the depth of your friendship….you guys are inseparable!!
The Sandwich State of Life
Two years into a new decade, I have realized one thing for sure, this decade will be the toughest of all. Be it physically, emotionally, or socially. Yes, you are right, The 40! We are in a state of mind where the heart wants to believe that we are young and the body says it’s not young enough.
In Indian society, people have a habit of defining everything using numbers, especially the number of your age. Age is so and so, it’s time to get the person married. Age is such, yet there is no kid. Oh, your age is now this, yet you are not settled. With this hype of 40th birthday these days, though people say age is just a number and we should be young at heart but my heart says, “Hey lady, be more conscious, I might just fall apart”. There is a strange contrast between the two. Till about a few years back I never kept a check on my eating habits and now we keep checking on junk intake, sugar intake, number of meals outside, organic foods, milk, millet etc etc. Tell me with so many refrains, how can one just say that age is just a number? It is definitely a number and a number to be believed. On one hand, people say it is just a number and on the other, they say 40 is the new 50. In this game of numbers, one thing is for sure, my hair is getting greyer, my pulse is running high, my dark circles are more visible and my body always asks for a sigh. Are we seriously getting old, or it’s just the number?
Who keeps me busier, kids or husband!
When people ask my husband that how many kids he has, he says I have 2 boys. And when people ask me the same question, I say 3 boys and the eldest one being the youngest when it comes to never-ending demands. Do you agree? In the Indian culture, when we women get married, we tie the knot with a loving and caring husband, which we eventually realize is no less than a grown-up child.
I understand that a 6-year-old will act like a 6-year-old, and a 10-year-old will also act like a 10-year-old but a 40-year-old to act like a 10-year-old, am I reading too much here?
Lately, my husband was traveling overseas for quite a long duration, not that he has been traveling for the first time, but I do get some downtime occasionally. But this time around it was for a little longer than usual, and I was forced to think that who keeps me more engaged, MY KIDS or MY DEAR HUSBAND.
A story of everlasting friends!
Did you read Best Friends? NOooo…this is a story of 4 girls who are everlasting friends.
A journey of 4 girls who have cherished memories of growing up in an easy-going life in the 80s and 90s. An era when life was uncomplicated and gadget-free. An era of numerous stories which remains intact in our hearts forever and not just Instagram stories. An era where we did not click pictures of every action or every moment. In fact, it was a period wherein we do not have any pictures together. That’s how decluttered our life was. Clean and transparent!
Finally I caught that Pie in the Sky!
Dreaming for more is something that never fails to end. On the contrary, comfort is the biggest enemy of dreams. So what is right? End the dreams or end the comfort? There is no right or wrong answer to this but after living 7 years of a COMFORTable hiatus, I had started to DREAM again. Dream again to do something for me. Dream again to be independent. Dream again to do justice to my professional qualification. Dream again to RETURN TO WORK!
And when career gave me a second chance, I grabbed it with both hands. So much so that I didn’t want to laud around it or paint the town red but just wanted it to breeze in me. If you are a regular reader of my blogs then you would know that just a few days back I wrote a blog on the fear when happiness strikes. And it exactly happened to me. That feeling of happiness when I am on cloud nine and still wish to keep it undercover.
The fear when happiness strikes.
Have you ever come across fear or anxiety when everything around you is going exceedingly well? Do you suffer from butterflies in your stomach? That feeling when you are on cloud nine but still wish to keep it a secret?
Ok so let me put it like this. If everything that you had planned is going just as per the plan or more so above expectations and you are unable to demonstrate that happiness. Maybe because of the feeling that something might just go wrong? The feeling that this might be a temporary phase, or how can I be so fortunate to have everything falling into place and something bad is around the corner? Do you keep things secret because the thought or the feeling that visible success can lead to envy or suspicion, leading to misfortune and unhappiness? Is it because of the belief in things getting “JINXED”? Perhaps you would have heard the popular saying, ‘calm before the storm,’ or ‘after happiness, there comes a fall?’